I found myself contemplating good and bad karma as I sat with an IV tube for
fluid rehydration hastily stuck in my arm by a religious nurse with a dirty wig. I found her excessively poor beside manner a welcome distraction from the havoc
taking place in my gut.
The evening before, something terrible went on in my system. It
forced nearly every ounce of fluid contained in my body to come out in one
undesirable way or another, and, sometimes, in unison. This is liver cancer, so I was told.
I would have at least considered weeping (for the hell of it) had it not been for the fact that I had already purged every ounce of body fluid available to me. And, of course, the nurse with the dirty wig had made it clear to me that I would not be released back into the wild until I could
take my bladder (along with my IV) to the public facilities and produce a urine sample for her (and all of the hair on her chiny-chin-chin). So, there I sat waiting, with cold saline slowly dripping into my left arm to bypass my knotted stomach. Looking to the air-conditioning vent above me, I pondering my situation and prayed that I would be healthy enough to get up and walk out of there, let alone get on with my life.
That was March 9th and I still have no health insurance as a consolation prize. In the aftermath, I have lost everything. My house, my money, my dignity…as I waited for Obama Care to kick in. Meanwhile, I sell my worldly goods to buy the drugs I need just for comfort.
I know this blog has gone dark. You don’t have to” not comment” to remind me. But for fuck’s sake, it’s my only means of any legacy at all at this point!! At least every post is indelible for all time. And so I bitch into eternity………
There will be no recipe tonight. I ordered Chinese food.
I love you